tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post8358908909303641480..comments2023-10-19T03:53:51.142-07:00Comments on MobyJane: My Husband is Being Mean to me AgainA. .B. Curtisshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061784337021208166noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-90464643093013266012014-12-22T20:11:17.933-08:002014-12-22T20:11:17.933-08:00Men seem to act like children and it seems we have...Men seem to act like children and it seems we have to treat them like a child when they throw temper tantrums. No wonder Women are more dominantly the smarter sex. We do not act immature and childish and pitch fits when we don't get our way. I am getting so sick of my husband's negativity and put downs and being rude and demeaning. It creates such contempt that is hard for me to push aside. My husband needs mental help and counseling but of course he does not think so... He was raised by a very abusive mother who was also drug addicted and very verbally abusive as well. His father had mental issues too. Jeez, anyone raised in that type of environment would need counseling.<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-39492382611847541912014-10-14T23:49:55.084-07:002014-10-14T23:49:55.084-07:00For me, getting him to listen to a recording of hi...For me, getting him to listen to a recording of him yelling would make things so much worse. That's not respectful, I wouldn't do that to anyone, it'd be like being the Behaviour Police. I know I wouldn't appreciate it, it just seems a very cruel and radical way of getting the message across. I'm a fan of tact and words hold so much meaning, it's not easy to master the art (I'm not verbal myself, but it's a life long task!)<br />In any case, I'm sure that there are better means.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-53032859991195423152014-03-28T20:04:15.439-07:002014-03-28T20:04:15.439-07:00Thank you, I am in this situation right nnow and h...Thank you, I am in this situation right nnow and have tried everything and am done. It s time for me ti let this marriage go and be done with this roller coaster ride, ny husband s issues are his. Im not owing them any longer Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-65647556472742213632013-01-17T20:31:44.271-08:002013-01-17T20:31:44.271-08:00It's so wonderful that finally someone who rea...It's so wonderful that finally someone who really knows relationships has discussed how to behave in this situation, how to think about it, and turn the tide. It is frustrating that there are so many of these articles with no answer being offered, but the classic "run away! Get a divorce!" Always with an exclamation point, always with such authority. This is why divorce is so common, as today no one is interested in solving problems. My grandparents were married over 55 years and they had a great love, but I heard tell of some huge arguments in that house. Long-term marriages have some hard times that need to be dealt with. This is my issue also and it's a toughie, because I left a previous husband over it, and missed out on my only child's growing up (part of it) because of it. Kindness and being loving are what my whole life is about, and it is very hard to have a husband that is constantly cruel, shouting, and inflammatory. He is also the sole breadwinner, but hasn't always been. He's starting to have trouble in the bedroom now sometimes, but he also has a very stressful work life and is in his 60s. He has started to mention divorce. It really does hurt because I am a good wife, beautiful with a nice body, have brought money into this marriage, am a good cook, good in bed, and I keep the house tidy, entertaining guests successfully, and doing things to make my husband happy or to laugh after a long day. I don't deserve this treatment. He perpetuates this charade just because he wants someone to vent on! I'm not sure recording him would help, but changing my behavior and taking care of me certainly might do it. He'll be in his 70s, and he will go down a grumpy old man, and I'll have to be the angel that was with him through it all. Bless you.Shavasananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-91617152412356580482012-09-07T17:00:55.702-07:002012-09-07T17:00:55.702-07:00I read your story and it was like reading my own. ...I read your story and it was like reading my own. My husband throws temper tantrums when he is angry about anything going on in his life, but kindly waits to share them only with me. The "I wouldn't have to yell if..." and " you know it annoys me when you..." are all too familiar. I have threatened to call the police before when he attempts to do something after he tells me he would rather be dead than spend time with me. The thought of spending 72 hours in lock up usually calms him some. I have recorded his rants and rages and, I assure you, it only adds fuel to the fire. He then tells me that I am causing him to be angry and it's my fault so why would I document that. Either way, I feel your frustration. It is hard to live a life where, not only do you not feel appreciated, you feel downright unloved. Knowing that waking up means another day of everything being wrong doesn't make for a super happy life. Stay strong!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-17121474507811700452012-01-29T12:39:31.972-08:002012-01-29T12:39:31.972-08:00Get a divorce. Period. There is something wrong ...Get a divorce. Period. There is something wrong with him, NOT you. is this the life YOU wanted? Not hardly. Get a lawyer.TheBestPartofMyDayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04419591126207105877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-74933581644242083452011-12-18T19:58:25.749-08:002011-12-18T19:58:25.749-08:00I hope the writer did not listen to AB, but rather...I hope the writer did not listen to AB, but rather to the more supportive people who commented. AB demeaned the women's feelings of hurt and anger over being treated with complete disrespect and being the frequent target of anger from someone who supposedly cares about you. Taking care of yourself means respecting your own feelings and setting limits on how you are treated at home. Also, if you have children, the hostile environment and the awful example they see of verbal abuse is toxic for them. Some individuals. Can change and some can't because of deep rooted emotional problems. The fear of being destitute without a job is a real one of course. There are legal ways that a spouse will have to pay for child support, etc. a wife can even be entitled to the home in a separation or divorce. Even if one hopes to keep their marriage intact, it is good to know the law to realize that you can make it in the case of divorce. That way one feels empowered to set limits and to say, I'm no longer willing to take the anger and verbal abuse anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-17208456366106624292011-08-03T22:05:29.657-07:002011-08-03T22:05:29.657-07:00I had the same. 4 of our 4.5 years of marriage. Ev...I had the same. 4 of our 4.5 years of marriage. Every situation is different, and you have to feel yours out. What I have learned is this. Try 100% to do everything right. One person has to give more than the other in the relationship. It's often the woman, oddly enough. If the man does not try at all, then address what you observe without pointing fingers or using comments that would cause ill feelings. If that doesn't work, suggest counseling. If that doesn't work, express what measures you will have to take if the situation does not improve. If that doesn't work, then go. Just go and don't ride the fence. Life is short, and there are always doors that will open. No person should have to live each day uneasy because of another person's petty feelings. I had that and it was hell. I felt stupid and wrong all of the time. I did the above, and then I left. I didn't have a job, a place to go, money, etc. I made it happen, though. Now I own my own home, am raising our dear little girl on my own, have a dog, have a great job, and LOVE life. I can buy groceries without getting yelled at. I can turn the vent on in the kitchen without getting in trouble over the noise. Glory! To summarize, try your very best at your marriage and try understanding the pressure your man goes through. If trying does not help, live your life on your own. Each of us can do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-18852175304277870702011-06-03T16:58:13.323-07:002011-06-03T16:58:13.323-07:00The original writer is living my life except I wor...The original writer is living my life except I work outside the home. I do not agree with the responder that hurt is just fear. It is not. We all have emotions and our feelings do get hurt. There is a huge difference between fear and hurt.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02379657724317096452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6695087504686401302.post-71078080464530355692011-02-17T04:02:25.172-08:002011-02-17T04:02:25.172-08:00Oh god this sounded like it was me talking through...Oh god this sounded like it was me talking through this whole story. I thought noone else but me felt unloved, depressed because my husband yells at me and I never know when it's going to happen. I want my husband to change and start thinking of my needs instead of only his. Feels like I am looking in a mirror and I see what I have been looking at all along; myself. I need to just do what I can do. Just leaving doesn't address my issues. Thanks for your story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com