I am so sorry to say, I am pretty confused. How embarrassing!
I get your first paragraph in its entirety. After that, I'm pretty lost. I will keep reading over the rest. Lights will come on!
When you say, "Does it make a difference if the object of one’s love is noble, kind, and cheerful or dishonest and angry? Of course. " Well, what does that mean? My husband is honest and in his own way, noble, but not so cheerful or kind. I do enjoy many qualities about him, and try to overlook and not take personally the grumpy, surly, unkind moods.
What I meant about falling in love with others' good qualities being conditional, is that sometimes those qualities diminish or disappear, then what? If my husband isn't as fun or funny as he used to be, I still love him. I would like to think I was not just in love with that pleasant trait, but rather, his "essence" or core self.
My husband's affection for me seems very dependent upon my being and saying and doing all the "right" things at the right times. He loses patience with me so often over such trivial matters, that I often wonder, "Can't you just love me? Must I jump through hoops to win your love? I can't be perfect. I will make mistakes. I can't change my spots into stripes." G.