Where Does My Sudden Arrogance Come From?

QUESTION:

Hi Ms Curtiss

How are you and Hope you keeping well. My life as general has been improving after being busy with work and building a house. 

New symptoms has to me suddenly without knowledge of why this happens now. Its very annoying stops me from meeting people.

I really do not know if depression has a connections to it. 

- arrogant suddenly  to all people including my close family father and mom and work mate which cause lots of embarrassing to my self and annoying the psyche 

- stops me from facing people 

- easily noticed from people my face expressions

Is this because I have good work and going to have a small house which impact my life, really do not know what to do

Thanks for usual Supprort Curtiss 

ANSWER:

First of all, I notice that your English is much improved.

Whenever you get discouraged just think how far you have advanced yourself. Not too long ago you couldn’t even get up the courage to apply for a job. We all have our forward advances and our setbacks. You are no different from millions of other people who struggle to keep themselves on the bright side of life. It takes effort to be a cheerful, peaceful and giving, loving person. 

Why aren’t we?The answer to that question is the answer to many questions. The answer is FEAR. REPRESSED FEAR. Despite all the work we do, we all have some lingering repressed fear that trips us up now and then. It is this unacknowledged repressed fear that causes all the arrogance and isolation for us. When we are afraid, we try to make ourselves seem bigger and better somehow to protect ourselves. We don’t need to protect ourselves but when we are afraid, we are just not aware that our fear causes us to fear those around us and either blame them or cause us to think ourselves better than they are. This is the way we keep from feeling vulnerable.

The good news is that we can just allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We can mentally surrender to those around us and let them do “their” thing. Yes, our fear will be hurting us but if we just accept that it is fear from the past that has been repressed and just needs to be accepted and finished, we can just “ride out” that painful feeling. It usually doesn’t last long. 

When we accept our emotional pain it just finishes itself and fades away. While dealing with our repressed fear we can treat the people around us with love and respect despite what flaws we may see in them. Fear causes us to blame as well. But in this way those around us are a great gift to us despite their flaws. They allow us to experience our repressed fear so that we can finally unload it instead of carrying it around with us. The less repressed fear we carry the more effective, joyful and peaceful we are.

Take this setback as a gift that you have further work to do with repressed fear. Read “The Ten Paradoxical Commandments” for a reminder how to treat people and for a reminder of how to get in tourch with repressed fear, review Chapter Ten in Depression is a Choice.  It takes courage to face our own limitations. But that is the way we grow and prosper. You have done so well so far. I’m sure you will continue to do well. Keep in touch. A. B. Curtiss