Friday, January 14, 2011
Gratitude is Better than Self Esteem
Dear A. B.
Thank you for all your time and talent spent to help those who need re-direction -
I read both of your books (regarding Depression) and think of them often and keep up with your blog. Many times I have turned to them and found relief or answers or a new direction.
For some reason I remember you not being a fan of self-esteem. Can you give me your views because I'm thinking along with Directed Thinking, decreasing self-absorption and increasing physical exercises a plan for implementing self-esteem is extremely important. I keep thinking I can reduce the negative thinking if I increase the self-esteem. Does it work that way?
I'll try and answer your letter. I'm on medication for pain caused by some sudden-onset spinal problem and waiting for an MRI to see what the trouble is-- so my thinking may be wobbly. Therefore I will try to make my comments brief so I don't confuse myself.
What works better to decrease our self-focus is not self-esteem but gratitude. Look for little things to be grateful for, to "love." We have the choice to source love or fear depending upon our choice of thought. Any small thought of gratitude is more powerful than any thought of depression because love is the greatest power. Fear (depression) covers over love so we may not see it anymore, but fear cannot destroy love.
As for being nervous in Toastmasters. It is a great meditation to be nervous and just allow yourself to be nervous in front of a kind-hearted audience. Nervousness accepted and loved is a whole different matter from nervousness despised and hated.
A. B. Curtiss