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Friday, May 14, 2010

It is Hard to do the Simple Exercises to get out of Depression

I just want to say, this morning, that I know how hard it is to do a dumb little exercise when depression hits. I got hit with one this morning when I woke up and I couldn't believe the pain. Like the end of the world. AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANY EXERCISE. Actually, as I look back and try to remember, I didn't WANT anything. I guess maybe you could even say that depression is the INABILITY to want anything. I never thought of that before. Maybe lack of desire, lack of the ability to want anything may be the same as despair. Maybe sometime for an exercise I'll try and want something. Easy to say that now because I'm not depressed. I don't know if that will occur to me when I get hit with depression.

At any rate, for me, I have committed myself that depressive feelings, despair, any kind of disturbing thoughts IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME. So I started in with my old standby, "Yes, we have no bananas, Yes, we have no bananas." Then I morphed into 1,2,3,4, who are we for. And I kept at it for a couple of minutes. Then I got dressed and went out to do some gardening. I think I stopped doing the exercises as I was getting dressed, as I was thinking about getting dressed, and what part of the yard I was going to weed. By the time I got downstairs the depression was completely gone.

I also thought, later on, I wonder if I had not done the exercises and just let the depression go if it would have continued or ended on its own. I don't think I want to try that as an experiment, at least not right now. I spent too many years periodically not being able to get out of bed for two weeks. And I have decided that NO MORE THAN 30 SECONDS AFTER I GET HIT, I DO AN EXERCISE. I think it is important to catch depression right at the very first before it has a chance to leave its stain on your brain.

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