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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

More on Playing the Family Game

Thanks so much, AB! 

I think I get it!  Yes, I do have to face my own demon, which definitely is wanting respect.  I regarded my financial conduct & choices as something deserving of respect by my family, & when I got something else, I was thrown into a tailspin.

Now I am aware that A) I don't need sis's respect.  B) My focus when with family should be on less personal matters. Keep the money discussions between husband & I. Thankfully, he & I are very much on the same page, & share many core values! C) Taking in these realizations will lessen my fear & make me less needy. I will then be less defensive & uptight.

I will try to become more aware of game playing. I can be so naive.  My husband says sister #2 is very street smart, & he says I am not at all.  Anyway, If I see a "game" starting, I will remember, "play it to lose." 

Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback & suggestions.  G

Dear G

"I used to do this with one of my relatives. She would get so ridiculous sometimes but I never tried to best her. After a while I really enjoyed what, at one time, was very painful for me because I ceased to take her comments as an attack. I began to think they were funny, then sad, and then my relative came down with dementia and isn’t that how these things tend to end. Why not love each other all along, nasty or demented."

Dear A. B.

I was touched by your experience & by your ultimate conclusion.  You obviously learned to handle the challenges gracefully.
Why not love each other all along, nasty or demented?"  But that isn't the way it goes much of the time, is it?  Guess its ego. You let go of your ego & found love.  Earlier you remarked that family is a "sacred bond."  That's different from the popular notion that family is basically an accident that occurs!
If we don't
like what we got, we needn't worry; we choose our friends! Then, we just create a new family!
Sincerely G

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