I Just Want to Get back to Normal

Dear AB

Originally I was going through a stressful time after many long years of constant stress. I couldn't sleep and was very anxious and so I was put on antidepressants, I tried to get off but became very depressed, I was put back on them and something to sleep was added. That stopped working and I was put on something else for 4 years then That quit working so, 8 years on antidepressants, and then in 2005 I was completely depressed , since then I have been on many mood stabilizes and antidepressant but, still have anxiety and depression.

I was a dentist for 21 years and have three grown kids, i have not been able to work since 2005 and have been on every class of antidepressants, been to the Menninger clinic for six weeks and had transcranial magnetic stimulation. I am now on a variety of med's which keep me from being suicidal, but,I have no get up and go, I am still anxious and very depressed. I have been to several therapist. would love to get off medications and get back to my old optimistic self. B

Dear B,

I suggest you see a doctor of Chinese Medicine to see if you need some nutrients that would balance the hormones in your body. This hormonal imbalance is very common in both men and women in their 50s. If the drugs have caused your nerves to be over-stimulated causing anxiety I recommend that you read Claire Weeks book HOPE AND HELP FOR YOUR NERVES. I also suggest you increase your physical activity—try a few things and see if something clicks, either get a trainer at a local gym, swim, take a course in yoga or Tae Kwon Do. For repressed fear and anxiety I suggest transcendental meditation which is very low key or Osho Dynamic Meditation which is very active. Here are some links to Osho Dynamic Meditation

http://www.youtube.com/movie?v=HtgaZS1fh-A&feature=mv_sr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Ao--mbIho

Another thing for helping with social anxiety and re-engaging with your fellow man, I suggest a course in Toastmaster’s International which is available in any small town and is very inexpensive.

I’m sorry I can’t advise you on what to do about your drug intake as I have no experience with drugs. You will have to see your medical doctor for advice on that. You can use any of my cognitive behavior mind techniques whether you are on medication or not as there is no downside risk to having a better understanding of how your brain works and why you think the way you do.

Western medicine took a wrong turn when they rejected out-of-hand the 10,000 year old medical practices of the Eastern world. We are starting to wake up to energy fields, hypnosis, acupuncture, massage therapy, etc. We are great when it comes to surgery and diagnosis of organ failure. However the medical establishment in the US is stuck in its refusal to apply the theories of quantum physics and views the body only as a physical machine that operates according to Newtonian principles, ignoring completely Einstein’s theory of relativity, the fact that matter, even human cells are not made up of physical matter as the pharmaceutical companies think of it but rather energy and physical matter so interrelated that they cannot be separated out. Everybody talks about E=mc2 but they have no idea of the significance to bodily health. 

The use of anti-depressants, etc. is based on a linear information flow from A to B. But the body should not be viewed in terms of Newtonian physics but Quantum physics and when you introduce a chemical to have an effect on one thing, the information, the energy, from that introduced chemical goes every which way, holistically with all kinds of unintended consequences.

The Journal of the American Medical Association in 2000 said that 120,000 people die each year as a result of iatrogenic illness (as a result of medical treatment) which make it the 3^rd leading cause of death in the US. Dr. G. Null wrote in his 2003 book that it is now the leading cause of deaths in the U.S. with 300,000 people victims of iatrogenic illness. We have to think holistically and look for alternatives to the “magic pill.”  However there is light at the end of the tunnel. People are now seeking alternative and integrated health practitioners. A. B. Curtiss

What Can you Do About Kids on Drugs?

Hi A.B.!

I'm not a parent, so suggestions for helping troubled teens have escaped my notice. I know drug & alcohol problems have been around for a long time, but they seem to have reached epidemic proportions.  Luckily, the teens in my family have not walked on the wild side, and have refrained from engaging in destructive behavior.

So, I find myself at a loss, as a neighbor tells me of a boy out of control.  He turned 16 last week, does drugs, drinks, hangs out with guys in their 20's who are very rough. He does not have a driver's license, but he drives his friend's cars. Memorial weekend he did not come home, & staying out all night has since become a habit.  He tells his mother she can't stop him. His father, who is unemployed,  also drinks and does "spice." His mother has a very good job & has climbed up the career ladder. G.

Dear G.

The only thing that really works is what the comedian Carol Burnett did for her drug-addicted teenaged daughter. She and her husband removed the whole family to Hawaii. If the parents are not in sync, it's hard to do anything. The culture doesn't support old-fashioned values. The husband doesn't. The kid is too immature to make the right choices and he probably feels this lifestyle values him and makes him happy.

Tell the mother not to feel like she has failed. She has probably been a good parent. But good parents are busy people, earning a living and working hard, sometimes they aren't there at the right time to catch on to what is happening—what bad influences have taken over your own kid. In the past parents worked hard but the culture mandated dinner together every night and family time on weekends and in small towns neighbors would look after your kids when they were out and around and let the parents know if someone was out of tine.. And the community wasn't rife with drugs and perversion as it is now. And there was no Internet or video games or cell phones. We have lost our moral compass and our kids are paying for it.

Sometimes the kids hit bottom and stay there, sometimes they hit bottom and get better. It is an epidemic. Thousands are dying of overdoses, or in auto accidents. Many are so brain-damaged that they can no longer function independently, some with less capacity than a 2 or 3 year old. It is heart-breaking. Sometimes the only thing you can do is pray. A. B,

I'm Visiting a Relative and They're Getting on My Nerves

Hi, I won't post your question as you asked, just my edited reply. My advice is this. As long as you are visiting and are the houseguest of someone, especially a close friend or  relative that you want to have a continuing relationship with, you do what they want, not what you want. You go out of your way for them and do not expect them to go out of the way for you--even if it hurts, and it probably will.

You don't judge their emotional stability or the rightness or wrongness of what their interactions with their own family might be. People are to be left alone in their own homes. We all do the best we can. You will find the situation changes back to normal when you meet on neutral grounds, either when they visit you in your place or at least away from being a guest at their place. From this neutral territory or if they become the guest, you can decide how much going out of your way you want to do and you will learn to be political about it so you can sidestep someone who might be wanting to take advantage of you babysitting wise, dog feeding wise, waiting for delivery men, etc.

The hardest thing we will ever do in our life is to accept other people's stupidity and give them space and respect for their bottom line humanity and human connection to us. No one wants to be the last man on Earth. We need each other.

It's hard to accept other people flaws because we can only see their flaws and now our own. We never see our own stupidity, unfortunately, just other people's .The good part of seeing other people's stupidity is that we can decide that at the very least we don't want to do what they are doing. We'll still be doing our own stupid stuff but it's one way to cut it down when we see what we don't like in others and decide to check it our in ourselves. For this reason I have always believed that being a therapist is the best way to become sane yourself. By avoiding in your own life other people's bad examples. A. B. Curtiss