Everyone should know about the psychological defense mechanism called "projection." I used to be socially fearful and immature, they call it social anxiety now and proscribe Paxil for it.
But the real problem with social anxiety or any feeling of social
alienation is a psychological defense mechanism known as “projection.” It took
me a long time to realize that I was projecting my own sense of coldness on
others when I walked into any party or even a small gathering of my peer group.
They weren’t cold and rejecting, I was cold and rejecting to protect myself
from possible hurt from their coldness and rejection.
When I understood this I
found I could always find someone to become interested in. I might start slow
with a waiter in a big party and make a few friendly comments to loosen up and
get out of my focus on myself. I found most people were not rejecting and cold.
The cure for social anxiety is the courage to risk hurt and reach out to
interest yourself in and love other people. Everybody wants love and respect
and we are on the Earth to give it to one another. Wise men say that every
person is fighting a great battle and we never know what secret and heavy
burdens the person next to us is carrying. Let us lighten their burden with
showing that we care about them. Let us be each others’s angels on Earth.
