I Was Mixed up Between Depression and Feeling of Unreality or Anxiety

Hi Curtiss


Hope you keeping well

Now I see how depression is different from feeling of unreality or anxiety. I was having trouble getting mixed up between them.

I see now how human being needs to assure himself deeply in order to fix feeling of unreality. I understand now how having some kind of faith or religion is important to help reaching this assurance or confidence.

I am still suffer from breaking down nerves which causes the fear but not the fear that I used to have it.

Thanks Curtiss

R

Dear R,

First, give yourself a lot of credit for communicating with me in English which is not easy for you.

Yes, you are right, everybody, at times, has insubstantial, crazy thoughts of unreality. What helps is to label them right away as bizarre, unusual thinking and turn your mind to something you know is real and abiding.

For instance, last night my husband had gone to bed aboaut 11:30 and I wanted to see the last of this movie Shutter Island. It was so horrible, about an insane institution, and I didn't realize it was going to end so badly. When it finished I looked around the empty house and this terrible feeling of unreality seized my heart. Maybe I was going crazy, too, I thought. The feeling was terrifying.

I immediately insisted on turning my thoughts to one of my favorite meditations (It's an old Hawaiian mediation called Ooponopono) and concentrated on that. I insisted on thinking that no matter what I was thinking, my bizarre thinking couldn't be trusted at that moment because I was very tired. I also concentrated on the ordinariness of the familiar things around me. And I said to myself that I would place my trust in the Grace of the Creator and it was time to go to bed and rest. A. B. Curtiss

Hi AB

I tried posting to your blog under the comment section, but it takes me to a page that asks if I want to be a blogger. Anyway, here's a response to taking our space...

Yes you did publish the second paragraph some time ago. We had a discussion about fear. I posed a question wondering about where my fear had come from. I indicated that my parents were gentle people and yet somehow I was always fearful of most things.

Starting in grade one and on into grade seven, it was like I had 'come bully me' stamped on my forehead. By then, I had had enough. It took only once of standing up for myself and people didn't bother me again.

Taking my place / space has taken a very long time... I always thought that depression was my main problem. But using the techniques and gathered wisdom from your books I've had new insight. "Green frog" has allowed me to drop the stress level so much that I was able to see I was struggling with something beyond depression.

I can't say specifically how it all fell into place. A continuous focus and confrontation of my fears was part of it. I have become more socially at ease. It (the social unease), still gets away from me every once in a while, but a quick refocus at the moment, usually helps that. It is a very good feeling to be able to walk into a room full of people and be able to watch the room, engage with people, and not be overwhelmed with a feeling of wanting to run away.

Thanks again for writing your books. It has become so obvious to me (with the help of your books) that I can change my life without medication. Just taking that first step to break the cycle of depression is so important.

Thanks,
A

Dear A,

Thanks so much for your letter. I’m sure it will inspire others to risk the fear of “taking their space.” A. B. Curtiss