Hi AB,
I just wanted you to know that I finished reading your book Children of the Gods and loved it. I was enchanted by the rich poetic rhythms, its wisdom and knowledge. I went to amazon.com to write a review and for the first time in my life I was unable to do so. I lost the review 3 TIMES! It just vanished from the screen and I had no way to bring it back.
It was discouraging as it had been quite lyrical and heartfelt, but there was no way for me to remember all I had written. I felt bad for awhile, but I thought that after having it vanish 3 TIMES! I should just accept it wasn't meant to be. I then checked in with my intentions. I saw they were honest and honorable (I gave it 5 stars). But then as I sent my mind out in your direction I got a feeling there was a blockage there, some vibe from you that was unconsciously preventing me from writing a good review for you.
As we are all in charge of our own destinies, I realized that there was no way I could have lost my supportive words without your cooperation. No blame here. I myself was feeling some anger toward a world that ignores needed truths and the people who write about them. And, of course, aside from you and me, there is always the possibility of a "higher force" that came into play in the sudden, unexplained disappearance of my complimentary review!
I may try later on to recreate the review, but you can imagine, being a writer yourself, as I am, how disheartening it is to lose what you have written, especially when it was really good! I am no stranger to self-sabotage, and perhaps I am only recognizing my own experience in you, but in any event I wanted you to know what had happened and to tell you that your poetry is quite wonderful and your book should be read aloud across the land. Best to you,
Z
Dear Z,
Thanks so much for your letter. Maybe it wasn't a higher force, maybe it was a lower force. As the old saying goes, if you tell the truth, you'll be kicked out of six villages. The wise man is not necessarily being kicked out because of a higher force at work. There is always a tussle between light and darkness, between love and fear, in the human world.
I know what you mean, though, about finally deciding it wasn't to be. Sometimes I, too, doubt whether or not I should continue to go forward if my efforts are met with failure so many times in a row. What is the correct answer, I ask myself? Am I supposed to quit or persevere? The problem with this line of thinking is that there is never a clear or right answer in the way of coming to a conclusion because one cannot know Truth as an object. One can only be the truth..
Or as Joel Goldsmith so aptly put it, "You cannot arrive at Truth through the reasoning process." The only clarity, for me, lies in each moment. Am I now proceeding out of love of something, or out of fear of something? This is not easy either, because it is not easy to figure that out. However, making the effort to figure it out, it seems to me, is being on the right path.
A. B. Curtiss
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