I am sorry to hear that your back problem and medications wreaked such havoc, but am so impressed by your response to the upheaval. Thanks for sharing how you overcame the panic and moments of despair.
In Depression is a Choice, you speak about how we needn't be afraid of our fearful feelings, that instead of escaping them we can invite them, own them, feel them and they will subside. You did that, and the dog with big teeth and the loud bark did eventually lick your hand, wimper and wag its tail!
You also chose not to repress the fear, and turn it inward, which only would have exacerbated your pain. You didn't project it either, and scream at your sleeping husband! No, you practiced what you teach, and sat with it, breathed through it, and came out the other side into calm.
I hear your wisdom that knowing this is not enough. We can't think our way to peace and contentment. Also, study and reading will only take us so far. We have to take the "lab" part of the course too! Real-life application is the only way to grow and improve! Of course, sometimes I wish that we could just have the lessons "poured in," but ultimately I suppose it wouldn't be very satisfying to acquire wisdom that way!
You're a great example of someone who learns and grows through every experience you have, especially the tough ones. I admire your commitment and am so very grateful that you share your journey.
Thanks so much for your encouragement. It is wonderful to be reminded by others so that I don't forget either how to practice what I preach. When the answers are all around us, mirrored in others and reflected back, it echoes all around that we need each other, we can't do it alone, and we must always encourage each other to strive to be strong, proactive and remember that some small positive thing is always possible even when adversity hits us hard. We must each grow our own courage to move forward with our day. It doesn't matter how small a step we take as long as it is a forward one. A. B. Curtiss