Friday, October 30, 2015
I See the World Through Sad Eyes
I learned to think of myself as a poor and unwanted creature when I was young, as that is what I was. Do you think that I have some building or rewriting of old programs to do so that life is not filtered through that belief system? What I am saying is that I see the world through my vision which seems to be programmed pretty damn downer and negative...and it is hard for me to believe (though, trust me AB, I really want to) that all I have to do is ignore thoughts and I will feel better about myself.
What if I don't even know they are negative or that I am thinking them?
You may have an inclination to think poorly about yourself because of the way you were treated as a child. But you did survive and since you are no longer a helpless child you can treat yourself with more love and respect. Our nature is not our enemy, it is our path. When you start feeling down you can check in with what you are thinking and you will usually catch some very negative thoughts chasing each other around.
Sit still. Relax your shoulders. Withdraw you attention from whatever you are thinking and focus it, instead, on RIGHT NOW. Look around. Past history doesn’t need to be rewritten. You are not hurting from past history. You are hurting because you are not situated in reality. Reality is a pure act of attention to what is at hand. If you are outside, focus on the trees and bits of alive nature that are near you. Allow them to nourish you. Nature can nourish us if we just allow ourselves to be nourished.
If inside, focus on the floor, a picture. Notice things around you in an objective way.Look for some small task that you can do and get up and do it. Then do another. And another. Just small things. No need to do great things ever. Just the next small thing. There is always the next thing.