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Saturday, September 18, 2010

I "Fall" at Parties. Takes me a Week to Get Back Up Again.

Dear Curtiss

I discovered that once my brain chemistry is restored, I do not have any negative symptoms. I feel the free soul and enjoy the real life and get excited and want to do many things I should have done.

Once I go to a party, I start to fall and then I need at least a week to restore the brain chemistry to as it was before. 

Is there a way to restore the brain chemistry sooner??

Thanks so much, R______

Dear R_______

The reason you "fall" is fear. Fear dumps all those stress chemicals in your brain. You are afraid you are not good enough for people to be interested in you. You are afraid to "show yourself" and "take your space." You have to learn some social skills, that is all. Once you have some social tools to use, you will not be so afraid and you will not "fall."  

Please read Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. This will give you some social tools. And Plan ahead before you go to a party that you will look around the room and find someone who seems alone and go over, and talk to them. Introduce yourself if you don't know them. Ask for their name and concentrate on remembering it. If you forget two minutes later, ask again. Nobody minds giving their name again for everybody has some difficulty in a crowd. You don't know that because nobody wants to let on that they have any little fears. 

If everybody's fears were listed on their forehead, you would see that almost everybody in the room had many doubts and anxieties. Even if they don't seem like it, people are flattered to be spoken to, and happy that someone has made it easy for them to be socially "up" at a party. Try it. Let me know what happens. Even if you shake in your boots, go ahead and risk yourself. Make someone else look good. They will be grateful. Don't expect to succeed perfectly the first time you put yourself out.

Let me know how you did. We'll go from there. A. B. Curtiss

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