My mood started to be very good these days because of reading both of your books, and my question is about coming to a big parties or big group of people. My mood decline every time.
My question is can I fix my mood in the future so it has no bad effect when I attend parties? R______
Dear R________
Many people have social anxieties, some have more than others. Usually people who have not gotten in touch with repressed fear (for this read Chapter ten in Depression is a Choice) are more emotionally dependent than others and have more trouble with social events. The trick is to avoid self-focus. The minute you realize you are feeling anxious and full of self-doubt about your "being unworthy of the occasion" start immediately to change your thinking from inner-directed, subjective and self-focused thoughts about how your are feeling to outer-directed and objective thoughts about other things and other people. If you can't find someone to talk to, look around and concentrate on the decorations or furniture.
Find someone to talk to. Most people have social anxieties of their own and are happy to have someone initiate a conversation by asking a question or making a comment about the event or even asking them again for their name. And then be sure to listen to their reply. Concentrate on what the other person is saying, not what you are feeling. Someone once said "What kind of an idiot are you when you are introduced to someone that you can't concentrate for 3 seconds and remember their name?"
I always suggest that great book by Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People for people who want to improve their social skills and confidence in group situations. It's in so many languages now you are sure to find one in your own language. A. B. Curtiss
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment