I Feel Like a Loser

QUESTION:

I think I get depressed because I’m always down on myself—I should lose weight, some of my younger friends are doing so much better than I am financially. Sometimes I just feel bad about not ever being a winner, not ever standing out in any way, not feeling special. I feel guilty for not being than I am. Is this normal?

ANSWER:

I think that people who worry about being a better person feel that way because they are basically a good person. 

I think we all tend to be victims of the human motivation movement inspired by such speakers as Tony Robbins in the last decade or two that purported to make everyone a winner and rich. You could really make a case that being ordinary and doing one's duty is not highly valued in our society. Whereas being self-assured and self-confident and being a success is highly valued.

Too many people put aside questions of essential right and wrong as "old-fashioned" in order to succeed. Look at the car company recently that built in a device in the new models so that the car could “fool” the emissions tests. But these people are often found out and end up losing their important positions. Those who remain honest and honorable and refuse to be corrupted may not be rich, but they sleep at night and they can look anybody in the eye because they know they didn't sell out.

Build your life on doing your best every day and rededicating yourself when you fail. Don't build your life on how good you feel about yourself because you are a winner. And especially don’t build your life around how bad you feel about yourself because you’re not a winner. Many of us have tried to win some gold medal or other, lost, and must content ourselves with being good people and making the best out of our day. When you go out and look at the stars, you start to realize that you are a part of something really beautiful. Try to add to the beauty of life by being a beautiful person in your efforts to be just an ordinary good person not a wonderful, self-assured one. A. B. Curtiss