There is no Feeling Good Nirvana

QUESTION

I wish I was better at reassuring myself. I have so little self trust it seems. I think that is what I am seeking the most. I also feel like maybe someone who has seen people like me often has some sort of magical advice. So I am thinking of seeing a therapist. But maybe all my thinking about seeing a therapist is all an effort to avoid doing the hard work myself, or at least delaying the hard work I have to do. It took you a couple of years to get the hang of this right? And to lose the fear of depression returning? My negative thoughts are always so much stronger than my more positive ones. Why is that?

ANSWER:

The reason our negative thoughts have so much power is that negative thoughts hook us directly into our instinctual defense mechanism, the flight or fight response. Then, of course, talking about and thinking about fears and crazy negative thoughts simply strengthens them.

We all have crazy negative thoughts. The idea is to recognize them as crazy, negative, non-useful thoughts, to acknowledge that they are not reality, and move your brain into another line of thinking as quickly as possible rather than marinate in all the negativity. 

Nobody feels perfectly ok for good. We feel ok. Then we feel not okay. There is no nirvana of feelings where we have reached the final destination of okayness. The idea is for us to deal correctly with our not feeling okay by realizing that the feelings of depression are not for real. The are not permanent. They are temporary.They are not present reality. We have to get ourselves back to present reality as quickly as possible.

Depression is not reality. Depression is the body being temporarily in a state of alarm. 'Depression and anxiety are symptoms that our body always exhibits under the influence of stress chemicals caused by the triggering of the fight or flight response. Change our thinking, change our chemical balance. Change our chemical balance, change our brain. Change our brain, change our life.