We are What we Think Ourselves to Be

Dear A. B.

My problem is: There are some times when I simply cannot get out of a depressive rut. My recent setback was due to an old friend that I used to work with; finding out she committed suicide. I believe she had been suffering from depression for many years before she finally took her own life. When I hear things like this, I begin to think: Could this happen to me? What makes this person different than I? Now, I'm rational and I know there may have been different circumstances in her life compared to mine (I'm married with kids, she was a loner that lived with her parents), but the obsessive part of my mind needs answers. Why is this? I've discussed this with many therapists, all of which tell me, "why does it matter? Let it go". I have a very difficult time "letting go" of this for some odd reason.

One therapist suggested that because my own father attempted suicide while in a drunken rage may have something to do with it. Once Dad sobered up, he lived to the ripe old age of 86, full of life to his last breath. So in that respect, I can see his alcoholism as being the reason for his suicide attempt.

Anyway, I was wondering if I could get your take on this. I've had to break out "Depression is a Choice" and go over my high lighted points to help me through this recent funk. Any additional advice from the author herself would definitely help.

Thanks
T

Dear T,

Your problem, as I see it, is that you have self-hypnotised yourself to be afraid of being depressed which brings on the depression. Now you have to self-hypnotise yourself out of it. Every time you think of it say to yourself,  "I can do this, I can free myself from this constant fear/depression, I can do it and I am going to do it. I have the power and I will use my mind to redirect my imagination.

As I pointed out in an earlier blog, in a fight between your will and imagination, imagination will win every time. Due to my recent illness I have struggled for several weeks with unreasonable fear brought about by my imagination, "suppose this gets worse," suppose I never get better," "will I always be in pain," etc and etc. One time it escalated into a panic attack and rather than admit defeat I took myself in hand and did deep breathing exercises for about twenty minutes and got myself out of it. I do recommend belly breathing for panic attacks. You can look it up in the Brainswitch book

It isn't easy to get ourselves out of fear, the emotion is so high. After all, fear is our only psychological defense mechanism. However we can do it.

Use all the tricks you have:

        Use cognitive behavior when the fear isn't too bad and reframe your fear by telling yourself that the fear is irrational and you are going to do everything in your power to free yourself from it. Repetitively insisting that the fear is irrational will ultimately have a good effect.

        Use hypnosis by way of repetition: Hypnosis is the way we force our imagination to imagine what we want rather than what we fear. There are basically three ways to immediately get your Imagination or Your Unconscious or Subconscious mind to accept an idea. Once your Subconscious (or you could call it your other-than-conscious mind) accepts an idea, it becomes your new reality.

Here are the three ways to immediately get the Unconscious to accept an idea:

1. High emotion, fear, (you have already self-hypnotised yourself to fear your depression by allowing the news about your friend to shock you). This is why faith healers push the person backwards (stationing someone behind the patient to catch them) and says "You are healed."

2. Repetition--over and over again thinking the thought, saying it to others, saying it to yourself. I am getting better thoughts all the times, etc. I am freeing myself from this irrational fear, etc.

3. Lower your brainwaves from beta to alpha and tell yourself the problem is solving itself and soon you will be free from the fear of your depression overwhelming you.. Read my blog about Will and Imagination and the last couple of blogs about Emile Coue.

You can go to a hypnotist and learn how to do this, you can read Emile Coue's method, which is excellent, you can take a course in transcendental meditation or a Silva Mind Control Course. Coue calls his method autosuggestion .  I would suggest the book by C. Harry Brooks, The Practice of Autosuggestion: by the Method of Emile Coue published by Dodd, Mead and Co in 1922 or a recent imprint since this book is now in public domain.

You can't insist, as an act of will, to think a good thought if  your body fear and tension are already high. When you are not too bad you can look for things to be grateful about, small things, think about other people and wish them well mentally, and so get in the habit of harboring good and loving thoughts. Above all notice how you judge other people because any thought you have that is pessimistic or negative about someone else will weaken you to the exact extent that you think it about others.

Even if highly agitated, you can learn to relax your body as an act of will, lower your brainwaves and in this way directly impact your imagination (which is accessible to suggestion at the alpha level) to do what you want. Read the entries in my blog since March 12 about Coue and hypnosis and try to get the dates for you. Also there are people who do biofeedback and have the neuroimaging machines that you can learn to lower your brainwaves and learn how to RELAX.

We are all vulnerable to the negativity and bad experiences of others. It is best to know this so we can arm and protect ourselves with good, healthy thoughts when we are being bombarded by negative, unhealthy ones. We are what we think.

A. B. Curtiss