I Love Your Analysis of Psychology

Hi
I am 25 years old and frequently get quite depressed. I find it hard to function in my very busy life as I often want to hide and cry, scream my lungs out in public, kick inanimate objects over (such as garbage cans) and hurt myself by smashing my head against things.

I read parts of your book in the library today and am applying the concepts. I love your writing style, your analysis of psychology, etc. My dad was a psychiatrist, and was not only a very abusive and controlling man, but he would medicate himself with leftover medications in an attempt to control his mood. Maybe not someone who should be in charge of people's brains.

I hold down two jobs, am finishing a degree and train very hard every day to meet my goal of becoming a professional dancer. I also have nowhere to live so I stay in an overcrowded household with my boyfriend and 8 of his relatives. There is very little money coming into this house which makes it a very stressful environment. Thank you, Lydia

My three questions are:

1. I am working on not blaming my circumstances and not letting myself get depressed. But I have trouble with a very strange phobia that interferes with my life. I can’t stand being around people when they are chewing gum. I’ve been like this for years. I want to run away from them or punch them out. The louder they chew the worse it is. I read in your book that you learned to manage your claustrophobia merely by exposure. Well, I am exposed to gum every day. On the train, at work, in class. Do you have any mind tricks that will help me with this?

2. I am quite sure I have hypoglycemia and I try to eat well although it’s hard with my budget and time constraints. I was wondering if the mood swings that come with my blood sugar lows could be contributing to my depression and, if so, will being stricter with my diet help? I have researched hypoglycemia and I know what and when I should be eating.

3. What do I do about my acting out my depression and frustration by physically attacking things in the environment, even my own body.

To Answer you questions:

Question #1. Remember that hate and blame are the same in that they are the methods we use to avoid fear. You can make any annoying (I hate it) thing, even attacking mosquitoes, a meditation to get in touch with repressed fear by standing your annoyance, your pain, and accepting it completely rather than wanting it not to be. This way you will be grateful for the chewing gum for putting you in touch with your repressed fear. As long as you hate the gum, you know that you have more fear to deal with. Believe me, most people are chock full of repressed fear. It wasn't just the exposure that cured my claustrophobia, it was the complete acceptance of my terror of it, while being willing to undergo the situation rather than wanting it not to be.. I ceased wanting what I wanted, and wanted what was, in fact, the situation of my terror.

Question #2. Your diet is important. Your body knows when it is being ill served, and sometimes it is ill served enough to trigger the flight or fight response and dump stress chemicals in the body which can later turn into anxiety (which we try to alleviate by phobias: blaming something in our environment) or depression.
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Question #3: Physically expressing fear (in the form of frustration or depression) is good because fear is repressed in the very cells of the body. However, this should be a private affair rather than acted out in public, unless you join a group which does this as an agreed upon meditation. You should not put this acting out on your fellow creatures as it is disruptive of the shared environment. Acting out fear in physical exercises of rolling around on the floor, screaming, crying, hitting the wall, etc should be scheduled and done in complete privacy. I used to scream under the water when I swam in my pool and I got very good at hugging myself and rolling around on the floor moaning and groaning.

A. B. Curtiss