Hello
My name is A---- and I somehow stumbled onto your website and I read just a few sentences and became extremely interested in your books. You sound like you really know what you are talking about, and it seems like sort of a relief because a lot of people now a days seem to just make stuff up as they go along, especially when it comes to anxiety and depression.
Anyways, I am going through a very difficult time in my life, I feel like my life has suddenly stopped and there is a wall in front of me that I can't seem to get rid of. I feel out of touch with reality and every day is a major obstacle for me to get through. It doesn't make sense to me because, before this "Wall" seemed to enter into my life, my life seemed somewhat a breeze and I actually enjoyed it.
Now I’m often thinking of death and feeling like my life is pointless and I would much rather give up then anything. I try to tell myself things will get better and this is just a phase and I will enjoy life again. But when I tell myself that, it seems like I'm lying to myself. It really just doesn't make sense to me. It's like my brain is telling me to not be happy, and I'm supposed to feel this way when, in "reality," I know it's all in my head or something. I really don't know.
My mother died in March 2007 she was 51 and it was very unexpected. She was my best friend. So my LIFE has literally been taken away from me, because she was my LIFE. In July 2007 my dad then passed away and the other part of my life was taken from me. I have been feeling symptoms of anxiety, (if that’s what they really are) ever since. Shortness of breath, dizzyness, hands sweating, heart pounding, head tingling, loss of concentration, being very forgetful, mind going blank, shaking and trembling...etc. I have been to the ER twice and had an evaluation at a psychiatric hospital, but they told me I didn't need hospitalization because I wasn't in danger of killing myself. I do have thoughts of it but I think I would be too scared to act on them.
I am now seeing a therapist 3 times a week, and I'm going to start seeing a psychiatrist for medication. My family doctor has prescribed me the anti-depressant generic of celexa and I have been on that for exactly one month today, and have noticed no change in my feelings or thoughts. I feel hopeless, and feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. I am nineteen, and feel as though my life is over. It's not fair. I used to love life. The constant thoughts I have in my head seem like a never ending circle and it exhausts me. I am desperate to find something to relieve me from this anxious, horrible nightmare that really feels like I'm living in a bad dream.
Well, I guess I am writing you my life story to try to see if you have any ideas that would work for me. Your thinking strategies really seem to make sense, but I'm not sure I quite know how to change my mindset, it seems really hard. I try to but it feels like it's never going to work, as much as I try, I still have the thought stuck in me that THIS WILL NEVER END. I also am curious where I can find your books. I would love to get them. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely, A. M.
PS. I noticed you are in California. I was wondering if you do therapy and have any information on that you could give me...I reside in CA as well.
Dear A. M.
Dear A. M.
It seems you are going through a traumatic life phase. You could profit from knowing how your brain works stress-wise, and the chemistry of anxiety so that you won't be frightened by your body's natural reactions to stress chemicals—which are all the symptoms you have mentioned that you are now experiencing: shortness of breath, dizzyness, hands sweating, heart pounding, head tingling, loss of concentration, being very forgetful, mind going blank, shaking and trembling.
You are also going through the stress of losing your parents which is traumatic at any age. You might check out some bereavement groups, and not only receive some support from others who are experiencing loss of their loved ones, but you may be able to help others as well.
You can get my book “Brainswitch out of Depression” on amazon.com. Read this one first, although it's my second book. My first book “Depression is a Choice” is harder to read and although it is much cheaper on amazon.com it seems you may be too stressed at the moment for the philosophy of how you get out of anxiety, and are in more need of mind exercises and more reader-friendly info.
Later you can read “Depression is a Choice” when you have better learned how to stabilize your emotions so they won't be so distressing to you. This book is very good for making philosophical changes in the way you view your life. It is also good for getting in touch with repressed fear (especially chapter 10) and you can probably benefit from some info on repressed fear. Repressed fear is the raw materials of depression.
But right away you can get some immediate relief with simple mind exercises from the website to lessen your anxiety and depression Another book that might help you is: “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” by Claire Weeks which deals specifically with stress issues.
Millions of people have gone through similar traumatic life changes. Don't give up on yourself. You just need a little support and a lot of education about how your brain works so you won’t be frightened by disturbing thoughts that pop up and by your body's natural reaction to stress chemicals. I don't take private patients but I answer anybody's questions via email and I don't charge for this. You can write me anytime. A. B. Curtiss
Dear A. B.
Thank you for the quick response. I will definitely get the books you have mentioned and will let you know how they work out for me. I am looking forward to reading them. Thanks again,
A. M.
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