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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Yesterday was a Hard Day but Ended Well

I finally realized that my anxiety attacks were more like panic attacks than depression and my regular store of brainwitching tricks were not as efficient as deep breathing, or as I call it, belly breathing. I could always achieve calm by hypnosis and Coue's autosuggestion "method." However I couldn't always take the half hour or hour to do it. I couldn't count on l5 minutes, that seemed too short to really get through it.

Deep breathing can be done anywhere, anytime and I can immediately employ it when the anxiety hits me, I don't even have to sit down. I can do it even standing in line at the Post Office. The last two mornings were really anxious from about 5am to 10 am, until I did a hypnosis session but then the anxiety would return in a few hours. Last night I said to myself when the anxiety redoubled on me, "This is really like my old panic attacks that I always did belly breathing for.. In just a few minutes of concentrating on  my breathing in and breathing out, the panic was gone. So far this morning I am fine and looking forward to the rest of the day, having confidence that I can calmly breathe my way though any flashbacks of panic.

And I also use the Claire Weeks phrase, "let time pass until my sensitized nerves recover" and I add "I can do this and I am going to do it." And then I do it. And I find I am becoming more and more desensitized to and can separate myself out from the initial panic and fear that knocks the wind out of me, strikes fear in my heart, and turns my knees to jelly. I also remember Claire Weeks line "jelly legs can still carry you anywhere."  Little by little I am more and more able see the unreality and unnecessity of such panic.

I think I have written enough descriptions of my panic and will probably not be writing about them anymore because it is better for me and I think for any of my blog readers not to concentrate on such symptoms but rather turn away from them and pursue more productive thought images.Look outside and see the the branches of the nearest tree. Really look. Keep looking. Keep looking. Take a deep breath. Another deep breath.  RELAX. Smile.Do the next thing.
A. B. Curtiss

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