Dear AB.
You taught me a great deal, and for that I thank you. I like
to believe that I am making some progress. I used to lose sleep when mood stuff
hit me, and I no longer do that for the most part. I also am able to turn away
from thoughts that hurt, I just can't do it 100% yet, and therefore don't feel
100% yet.
The only way this effects my life at the moment is that I am
distracted at work and not as productive as I might be, and I am just not
enjoying my life as I could be, fearful etc. I have to believe that if I am
persistent...it will pay.
.All day, every day, I work with my thoughts. I don't get
a moments rest, I am constantly on guard. I wish I could explain how
quickly they "take me down". It can happen in an instant to me. I was
in a friends bathroom a while ago and had a negative/anxious thought
"what am I doing here?" I nearly had to leave I got so down. I hid it
and then left. I was super down for days after that. I just don't feel that I
have very much control
I had this trip
planned for next week as a little vacation. Now I am too afraid to go. I would
be with people that don't know about my anxious thinking and I can't risk
getting down or panicky around them. R
Dear R
Go and enjoy yourself and think about other people instead of thinking about yourself all the time. Other people are fighting great battles too. You are not the only one.
You
say you are always on guard. This is completely reactive. It seems like you are
anticipating negative thoughts to pop up so you can fight them. You don't have
to fight negative thoughts. They have no power if you refuse to think them. It
may seem that you don't have control over your mind because you don't choose to
take control. You say that every day you work with your negative thoughts. It
is not productive to work with negative thoughts. You are supposed to choose
other thoughts instead of these negative thoughts and work with those more
productive thoughts so your mind has limited space for the negative thoughts to
pop up.
As
your mind works with positive thoughts your brain starts to follow a positive
bent instead of a negative one. If you work with negative thoughts your brain
will follow a negative bent. Your brain always follows the direction of its
most current dominant thought. If you are always working with negative
thoughts they will become dominant and your brain will be following in a
negative direction.
If
you take charge of your thinking and insist on choosing productive thoughts
they will become dominant and your brain will follow a more productive bent.
But instead of taking charge of their lives, too many people are just sitting
around in their lives waiting for the next negative thought to attack. It’s
like watching a movie and saying OMG I can't stand what's on the screen. Turn
away from the movie screen of your negative thoughts. Get out of the theater
and into the real world. Become more active physically and behaviorally instead
of always anticipating your mind is ready to attack you so you are always ready
to fight back. Relax a little. A. B. Curtiss
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