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Sunday, September 20, 2015

Don't Fight Your Negative Thoughts

Dear AB.

You taught me a great deal, and for that I thank you. I like to believe that I am making some progress. I used to lose sleep when mood stuff hit me, and I no longer do that for the most part. I also am able to turn away from thoughts that hurt, I just can't do it 100% yet, and therefore don't feel 100% yet.

The only way this effects my life at the moment is that I am distracted at work and not as productive as I might be, and I am just not enjoying my life as I could be, fearful etc. I have to believe that if I am persistent...it will pay.

.All day, every day, I work with my thoughts. I don't get a moments rest, I am constantly on guard. I wish I could explain how quickly they "take me down". It can happen in an instant to me. I was in a friends bathroom a while ago and had a negative/anxious thought "what am I doing here?" I nearly had to leave I got so down. I hid it and then left. I was super down for days after that. I just don't feel that I have very much control

I had this trip planned for next week as a little vacation. Now I am too afraid to go. I would be with people that don't know about my anxious thinking and I can't risk getting down or panicky around them. R

Dear R

Go and enjoy yourself and think about other people instead of thinking about yourself all the time. Other people are fighting great battles too. You are not the only one.

You say you are always on guard. This is completely reactive. It seems like you are anticipating negative thoughts to pop up so you can fight them. You don't have to fight negative thoughts. They have no power if you refuse to think them. It may seem that you don't have control over your mind because you don't choose to take control. You say that every day you work with your negative thoughts. It is not productive to work with negative thoughts. You are supposed to choose other thoughts instead of these negative thoughts and work with those more productive thoughts so your mind has limited space for the negative thoughts to pop up.

As your mind works with positive thoughts your brain starts to follow a positive bent instead of a negative one. If you work with negative thoughts your brain will follow a negative bent. Your brain always follows the direction of its most current dominant thought. If you are always working with negative thoughts they will become dominant and your brain will be following in a negative direction.

 If you take charge of your thinking and insist on choosing productive thoughts they will become dominant and your brain will follow a more productive bent. But instead of taking charge of their lives, too many people are just sitting around in their lives waiting for the next negative thought to attack. It’s like watching a movie and saying OMG I can't stand what's on the screen. Turn away from the movie screen of your negative thoughts. Get out of the theater and into the real world. Become more active physically and behaviorally instead of always anticipating your mind is ready to attack you so you are always ready to fight back. Relax a little. A. B. Curtiss

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