Another Bout of Depression. Meds Don't Seem to Help

Dear A.B Curtiss,

I've found your site, blogs and books by recommendation last week. Since then I've spent a lot of time reading your materials -- I've read every blog entry since you started, and the Brainswitching book arrived today which I've been reading. I'm very impressed about your work on answering emails and really helping people.

Everything you say makes sense, and if anything I'm made aware that I've had depressive negative thinking as my dominant thought for a very very long time. I'm currently experiencing another bout of debilitating depression, I'm nearly 40, and off work for a couple months. Since I'm off work and don't have a routine, it's very hard to motivate myself to do anything but stay in bed everyday. I've read what you have to say about the importance to just push yourself and get out of self-focus.

I have absolute zero interest in anything and just the minimum self care is what I'm able to do every day -- even this with a lot of effort. Even if I will and force myself to get out of bed and do something, since I have zero interest in anything, I'm at a loss what to do. Will interest and eventually joy in things come back? What kind of activities, tasks do you recommend when I really have zero interest in anything at the moment?

My first debilitating depression was in college. And ever since then, for the last 20 yrs, every 2-3 yrs I'll get hit really badly, where it takes I wish I didn't have to live. I'm on Effexor XR right now, but not sure if it's really helping. I've done numerous therapies for the past 20 yrs more or less, but still in this state, and at this point the only thing that resonates is your explanation on how the brain works.

Everything you advocate makes sense 100% and the little I experienced with mind switching this weekend -- some did provide a little relief.

However my brain is wired to pick up & associate negative, depressive thoughts from practically anything and everything I look at, or anyone and everyone I speak to. So the mind switching exercises effects don't last long at all. You say, get on with your tasks, but even the few task I've tried from house work to physical exercise will bring back up the old system thoughts. Socializing with others was challenging, as I'll have negative thoughts as I'm engaged in the conversation and feel like I can't exactly do mind switching exercises.

I would gratefully appreciate if you could comment on my situation and if you had any advice.


Kindest regards, Y_________


Dear Y____________

You have to make new neural patterns in your brain of productive thinking and objective thinking rather than self-focused and subjective thinking (about how you feel). If you have not done this before, naturally it will take some effort. But you will never have to be helpless again because now you know that you CAN get up, you CAN make your bed, you CAN brush your teeth, you CAN volunteer to help at some institution (public library, hospital, childrens' home, public school) you CAN clean up your space and organize your life.

Every time your brain slides back into thinking about what you are feeling you can force it to think about something objective, someone else, look at some tree and think about the tree.

You can always pray for someone who is ill, suffering, even someone in the news who has suffered a tragedy, someone you don't even know.

You can always sing nursery rhymes to yourself to get going. And, of course, you have to make a life for yourself that does not include depression. Isn't it a tragedy that doctors keep you from doing that by teaching you learned helplesness.

You have zero interest in anything because you have not invested yourself in anything. It's like a bank. You have no money in the bank because you haven't put any in. You have zero interest in anything because you are not doing anything.

And you have a lot of repressed fear because for many years you have used chemicals instead of courage to face the day ahead. I would also suggest you read Depression is a Choice, especially chapter ten. This first book of mine is the psychological autobiography of how I got out of the manic depressive mind set.

I will be glad to answer any questions as you move forward with your day.

A. B. Curtiss