I Need Help With Depression

Dear A. B. Curtiss

I purchased your book in the midst of a chronic depression which I am still experiencing and sent an e-mail about hypnotherapy which you kindly responded to. I am trying the brain switching exercises which I have not mastered yet. I try green frog, and row, row, row your boat, and yes, yes, yes the most frequently as I have difficulty recalling any others. I am in jeopardy of losing my job due to my depression and as a result it is deepening. What can I do at this point to move things along towards a better state of mind? It feels as though my mind is fighting hard to overcome the non-emotional thoughts that I am thinking.

Any more suggestions? Thank you, SM


Dear SM,

You have to give more energy to actual physical behavior and continuous objective thinking rather than constantly taking your emotional temperature. No matter how busy you get doing things like chores, work, going to the movies, if you are always checking into your fears, always saying to yourself, I'm still depressed, then, guess what? You will remain depressed. The reason for the dumb little exercises is to get you started learning how to ignore the thoughts and emotions that agonize you by thinking of something else besides them. You have made depression the most important thing in your life. Why did you do that?

For myself, I periodically wake up in a deep depression. But since it is no longer the most important thing in my life, I have learned how to ignore it. I do a few exercises to get me started and then I move ahead with my day as a sense of duty. My mind cannot control me because I can control my behavior and my own thinking. I would not dream of talking in a weak, sad, voice, of moving slowly and sighing a lot no matter how bad I felt. These are not options for me. I have done with them. I would not think of sinking into bad emotions or agonizing thoughts. I have done with them.

Yes, there might be an aura of despair around me for a while. I ignore it. I look forward to more productive things. One thing I have learned, you can't make your depression worse. Try it. Even the cognitive act of trying to make your depression worse puts you in charge of your depression. Your depression does not want you in charge of it. Your depression wants to be completely in charge of you--to beat you down and then step on you. Rise up to this relentless enemy. Laugh out loud. Dance around for ten minutes to some peppy music. You won't want to do it. But even more than you not wanting to do it, your depression will not want you to do it. Do what your depression doesn't want you to do.


Remember the poem INVICTUS?

I remember it from my elementary school days. I was reminded of it with the new movie with Morgan Freeman. Recently I decided to commit it to memory. Sometimes I used it for an exercise. Oh, how my depression hates this poem. To bad, Old Buddy, it’s my mind, not yours.


INVICTUS

by William Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the Shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


I got this letter the other day. It might give you some hope. If you like I will send your email address to him (he's in Canada) to see if he would like to correspond about his methods to stay out of depression. We need company, we need like-minded company, no one can proceed with life alone. Sometimes, it is necessary to stand alone if the world is against us. But, sooner or later, we need to find a friend. But let's not sic our depression on our friends as if we don't have a choice. We can always choose a cheerful behavior and attitude no matter how bad we feel. We are in charge of our lives.

This is the letter

Dear A. B. Curtiss

Thank you for mailing the book, Depression is a Choice, so quickly (my mother ordered it for me) -I received it about ten days ago. Your book is life changing. I found it at our small local library six months into a horrible depression. Despite over twenty years of managing/fighting severe manic depression, I was in an especially dangerous low (financial and marriage pressure followed by a manic episode followed by my wife asking for a divorce). Despite all the different medications I've been on it has always been up to me to control myself, and it was always a question of pulling myself up by the bootstraps to emerge from my depressions. But this was my biggest "real life" loss -I love my wife and stepson and the house I built for us is on the market and that life I loved so much is gone. Enter your book. With it I was able to put aside the why, as in "why go on?" and just go on. You laid out all the tools for taking control of my thinking and behavior and did it in such an inspiring way. I've read your book three times and have taken lots of notes because I still slip back, or lose perspective,or forget the concepts, or just need to be inspired. I'm so glad to finally have my own copy. You have truly written an amazing book and I was so pleased that you autographed it for me. Yours Truly, M. H..

Dear A.B.

Yes, please send him my email address. SM


Dear A. B.

I am particularly interested in hypnotherapy since I learned that you practice it. I was wondering if you make tapes for purchase that I could listen to each day as a supplement to the excercises in the book. As I have the most difficult time with depression upon waking in the morning I thought if I could drift off to sleep with positive thoughts and direction it may help. Please let me know as I would be greatly interested in this.
Thank you for your time,

Dear S.M

It doesn't do a whole lot of good to go to sleep with positive ideas because they can engender their opposite due to the fact that the brain works by learned association (think "up" and the thought "down" pops up, think “salt” and the thought “pepper” pops up. Positive ideas might keep your mind positive or they could trigger just the opposite. You don't have a lot of control over the brain while you sleep. You just take control immediately upon arising. But almost any hypnotherapy tapes are very relaxing and might help getting to sleep. A. B.