My Cyclical Depression

Dear A. B. Curtiss

I have just today stumbled upon your website and intend to order your book today. I have suffered from depression continually for the last 10 years and my inability to find a cure has had a devastating impact on my professional career. I am a 47 year old male and have a set pattern to my depression. I will go for 6/8 weeks enjoying good moods, then I feel the depression coming on in the same way every time. I initially try to fight the first signs which last about 4/5 days then the major bad feelings take hold and this immediately renders me to bed for 4/5 days which have a major impact on me mentally and physically. Eventually I will surface and then take the next 6/8 weeks putting my life back together again and then the whole things starts over. My depressive periods never last very long but come about so frequently that I am getting nowhere with my life.

Any thoughts would be gratefully appreciated. R. D.


Dear R. D.

I understand, as I struggled with much the same thing for about 30 years. I am one of those people who went into the field to help myself. If I only knew then what I know now about how my brain works! I still get hit with depression often, but I am now out of it in five or ten minutes instead of 5 or 6 weeks or even 5 or 6 days. There's a lot of info on my website, www.depressionisachoice.com My first book, “Depression is a Choice” is the philosophy of depression, how to see depression as a psychological and even philosophical life style of the mind which can be changed. My second book, “Brainswitch out of Depression” gives more mind exercises and a more complete run-down and “how-to” of how your brain gets into depression and how you can get out of it the same way you went in. I'll be glad to answer any specific questions you might have as you get along with the new information. A. B. Curtiss


Dear A. B.

Thank you very much for your quick and helpful response. Since my first Email, I have ordered your book “Brainswitch out of Depression” and look forward to receiving it within the next few days. I have spent the last few hours on your website reading the various letters and responses and have read some things that seem to touch at the core of my depression experiences. I have been on various medications over the last 10 years, and often wandered if these medications were helping produce my cyclical depression but I now realize, after reading your articles and letters, my depression starts the same way as other peoples’ but it has been my reaction that allows it to take hold and go through an all too similar process.

I seem to be coping and returning to my normal jovial self when pow! the feeling changes and I panic, and then the journey begins. Because these feelings come over me on an all to frequent basis, the cycle never seems to stop and I have let this destroy almost every aspect of my life. I have the support of a wonderful courageous mother, who works hard to understand why her young son is living this never improving life, and I have the love of a wonderful girlfriend who only now and again sees the glimpses of the person I used to be. Each depressive episode I now realize is being fed by my all to familiar reactions to the first feelings of depression that’s why they start and finish the same way. Thank you for explaining why my depression is cyclical.

I now see that there is hope, where before stumbling upon your website, I had none. Today is Day 1 of my recovery from another episode, this is the hardest day because I had worked hard getting myself back after the last episode, and now I find myself back at the start again. Over the next few weeks the weather here in Scotland will change dramatically, and I intend to use these weeks to change my thinking dramatically as well. I have always understood, academically, the power of my thoughts and have read many books but somehow this has got lost in my experiences, and I have allowed the darkness to cloud my efforts at recovery. Thank you once again for your help and I look forward to this being the start of a new adventure. The warmest regards, R.D.